I can’t 


I can’t.

I can’t exercise.

I can’t get to a gym.

I can’t do Crossfit- that’s for fit people.

I can’t stick to healthy diet.

I can’t run a 5k.

I can’t finish a Spartan race.

I can’t survive a Ragnar race.

I can’t lift heavy weights.

I can’t finish that workout.

I can’t lose weight.

I can’t lose the weight, again.

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Okay, you get the idea. This one is for all my fellow “can’t doers.” For anyone who has ever felt like I have. Who has ever thought their dreams were hopeless. Whoever just gave up. Whoever said “I just can’t”. This is just a short list of things I previously said I “can’t” do.   This was my mind set 4 years ago where I was over 230 pounds and in the worst mental and physical shape of my life. (Spoiler alert: , I’ve since  accomplished all of the above).

I truly believe “I can’t” is arguably the most severe form of human disability.
“I can’t” is a cover. It is an excuse. It is more like “I won’t or “I won’t even try. It is a reason for people not to do things they are afraid they might fail at. “I can’t” is rarely physical. “I can’t” is mental.

Over the course of my weight loss journey, and life beyond that, I have hindered myself using the words “I can’t”. I let it hold me back from trying a lot of things, and dismissing myself. “I can’t” is a slippery slope, and at times in my life I’ve found myself all the way at the bottom.

My life started to change when I changed just a few of my “I cant’s” to ” I can try’s.” I am not even going to sit here and say you can transition from thinking you can’t do something to a happy go lucky “I can do it!” attitude overnight, but if you take one small step into convincing yourself you can try something, you’ve won the battle.

Sometimes when I get discouraged, I reflect on where I came from. If had never tried to do any of those things above–I would have missed out on so many wonderful opportunities. The feelings of accomplishment I had crossing the finish line for my first 5k, to getting my finisher’s medal at the Spartan races, and setting goals and actually achieving are indescribable. These moments are what keep me going.

I conquered my fears little by little, step by step, just by trying to get better. I got over my fear of being the biggest person at the gym by just showing up. I got over my fear of being the last person to finish a run, by being happy that I finished it at all. I got over my fear of not being as good as everyone else, by stopping comparing myself to everyone and only competing with myself. I got over my fear of being too weak by promising myself to always give it my all. I got over my doubts about doing certain movements by scaling them down to something I could do until eventually I could progress.

If I  had never even tried, I would not be where I am today. If I never took those first steps, I would probably be in the same, self loathing, no confidence slump I was in. If I never started trying, little by little I would not be where I stand now: A happier, healthier version of myself who isn’t afraid to try to new things.
Some days are harder than others.

Some days I lack motivation, and confidence. Some days doubt creeps back into my mind. But trust me if you start by saying “I can try” instead of “I cant” no matter what it is in life, not just for your health, I promise you, you will find yourself doing things you never thought possible. And I can tell you from experience, there is nothing quite like that feeling.

But be careful if you start trying new things and actually doing things you only wished you could .. you might start feeling like a bad ass . And I guess that’s really not such a bad thing

As always if you made it this far, I love you!

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