Forever ..Sometimes.. not always last in Gym class.

Wow, it has been 9 months since I created this blog! It all started with my first and favorite post:

Call me the little engine that could of Crossfit, or the underdog, or lost and misguided, but no matter what you call me I am proud to call myself a Crosffiter. I have drank the “Kool-Aid” if you will, and boy do I love Kool Aid. Being overweight my whole life, I have constantly tried different methods for losing weight. I’d go through yo-yo periods of weight loss and gain. When college came, I had almost admitted defeat and accepted my pleasantly plump physique.

After I graduated college in may I was at my heaviest-230 pounds. I thought about doing the old gym and diet routine I had tried and failed throughout the years but my sister presented me with an idea that changed my life. We were sitting down one day and she asked if I’d consider doing Crossfit with her.

Cross-what? I was completely turned off already. Still she persisted so I looked at videos online to see what it was all about. Then I had almost completely shut the door. Seeing fit, in shape looking people, lifting heavy weights and doing crazy, impossible looking movements did not exactly motivate me. All I could think was “I can’t do that”Not giving up my sister forced me to go for a consult at the gym, or as I’d later come to find out it was called a box, just to see for ourselves. I met the owner, Kevin, and he would be an amazing car salesman because after a short meeting I was sold.

He convinced me that anybody could do Crossfit, and movements could always be scaled to individual ability. Though skeptical I fit into the “anybody” category still, I decided to give it a whirl. I began foundations class with my sister, a beginners class to prepare you for the real thing. After my first foundations class I thought many things: This is an intro class? I am severely out of shape, I don’t think I’ve ever felt worse pain in my life, and lastly I think I can do this.

I may be the girl tripping over the box during box jumps, or the last one to finish a 400 meter run, or the one whos crab walk looks like they are missing a leg, but I show up and finish my workout just like everyone else. I have never felt so welcomed or comfortable in a gym before. The coaches and trainers all work with me and push me to my limits and to always do my best. The people in my class cheer me on and always greet me with a smile. In October, after only being at the gym a few months, I found myself being titled Member of the Month, an accomplishment I am truly proud of no matter how cheesy it sounds.

That was August of last year and I’m still staying strong, meanwhile getting stronger. I completely fell in love and for the first time in my life have enjoyed exercise and found something I can stick with. I am now 40 pounds lighter, stronger, and inspired. In the time I’ve been Crossfiting, I’ve completed a 50,000 meter Rowathon, completed the Whole Life Challenge, ran in 5 5k races, one 5 mile race, gave up carbs, said no to cheese, and many other things I never thought possible. However my fitness goals are far from completed and my fitness journey is just beginning. If you ever thought you couldn’t do it, or if you were like me, and always last in gym, class, or if you genuinely enjoy a good laugh then feel free to follow my blog and see where it takes me.

I am still the girl who is forever last in gym class, but at least this time in the Crossfit world being last means everyone cheering for you the loudest.

I’ve come so far since then, and expanded my horizons to beyond Crossfit and 5ks. I’ve lost more weight, and gained much more confidence. And yes, I’m not always last! It’s always important to keep going forwards not backwards, but just as important to stop every once and a while and appreciate how far you’ve come.

When you make the decision to change your life, the path is never straight and unbroken. There are many bumps, wrong turns, set backs, and mountains to climb over. But what I’ve learned it’s not about getting to the destination that matters, it’s the journey along the way that really counts and makes you who you are. You are made up of each and every battle scar. You cant wish your life away, or live your life by “when I’s” .

I used to think all the time, “When I lose the weight, then I’ll be happy. ” But the weight wasn’t making me me unhappy, it was me and my negative mindset. I’ve realized the heaviest thing that was always holding me down wasn’t my extra pounds, it was my mind. I wasn’t doing the wrong diets, or not exercising enough, or anything like that. The only thing stopping me, was me. My head was so full of “cant” and full of negativity. Whether I wasting time being jealous of other people, or doubting my abilities, or just being plain old mean to myself. But once I stopped being my own worst enemy, I became my own best alli. And I think that along with my looser pants, it’s pretty much the best non scale victory I’ve achieved so far.

But the truth is, I’m happy now, yes, right now, and I’m not even close to my goal yet! I’m enjoying the process, even though I still have ups and downs, good days and bad days, and successes and failures. It’s amazing how far you can go once you let go of your demons and start to love and believe in yourself. You can have the whole world believe in you, (or in my case, the entire gym cheering you on) but you will only begin to make progress if you believe it too.

The most important thing I’m learning is  you can’t put your life on hold because your not where you want to be yet. Not only weight loss, but in all aspects of life. The job you want, house, or car, or whatever goals you have for the future, you’ll get there eventually if you want it bad enough and take the right steps to get there. But don’t stop living because you’re not there yet. You have to enjoy every day, and every moment! And I know it sounds cheesy, but life really is too short to be anything but happy, y’all!

I still have a long road ahead, but I am not where I started, and that is a beautiful thing.

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