Finding balance

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Well, since we are in Quarantine in some of the strangest days of our lives, I decided to dust the cobwebs off the old blog, and breathe some life back into it. A lot of this extra free time has brought some positives. For one it has reminded me that I have been neglecting some things that I love, including writing. Shoutout to my nephew for inadvertently reigniting my passion. Anyways, I’m still here, still learning and trying to figure out how to find my way in this fitness journey.  For those of you have followed me, you know that I have had my ups and downs. I am grateful for them though, because it has all been such a learning experience and every time I fall down, when I get back up I am that much stronger and armed with more knowledge and experience. Grit? Isn’t that what it’s called?

I’ve learned so far that losing weight isn’t the hard part.  I am not saying that losing weight is easy, I will be the first to tell  you it is not, but it is the most straight forward. Calorie deficit right? The real hard part though  is cultivating healthy relationship with food, breaking habits, developing better coping mechanisms, and finding balance. Then there is maintenance. Everyone always told me how to lose weight, but nobody ever told me what to do next. (note to self- rewarding yourself with food binges after long periods of restricting isn’t the best move). Hardest for me is trying to find balance in this unbalanced world.

That brings us to this whole quarantine/coronavirus situation we are in. I’ve found myself on a perpetual crossroads- another instance where I might have gone “all in, or all out”. Eat only healthy home cooked meals, deprive myself of any an all “treats”, and not sleep until I hit 10,000 steps on my Fitbit. (Which I no longer have, upgraded to an Apple Watch, an end of an era for me, has been my lifeline since I started working out!) Or, succumb to the stress and anxiety of everything going on, eat everything in sight, stay glued to the couch, fall into depression, and feel terrible.

So far I’ve been doing pretty good about not falling into or staying on either side of the spectrum. I am waddling on the line in the middle which is where I am trying my best to stay. I am still working out, going for walks, and training for my half-marathon. It was cancelled, obviously, but I am still running a 13 miles on May 16 as planned with my brother-in-law. Working out has honestly done wonders for my mental health. Sometimes it really gets hard to make myself consistently do it, but I always feel better, accomplished, and have more energy when I get it in.  But if I miss a day or take a day off, I don’t beat myself up. Rest days are important too, mentally and physically. I am still trying to eat as healthy as a I can, but I still live with my mother so I had some bomb homemade pizza and chocolate chip banana bread, among other things. I think it is important to remember we are all human and its a trying time for all of us. Everyone copes differently but I think putting extreme pressure on ourselves to be the most productive as possible during all this may not be the right answer for everyone.

I still have a lot of work to do mentally and physically, for example this morning I weighed myself and wanted to punch the wall, but had to remind myself the scale is just a stupid little temperamental robot that changes its calculations if you move it 3 degrees to the left (or upstairs v. downstairs..I’ve tried it all). I am not at all near my lowest weight or my goal weight, but I am taking my time this time and working on my health every day.

Anyways, stay tuned I’ll be posting some new stuff this week. Up next,  I’ll explain why I am training for a half-marathon even though I really hate running.

As always if you made it this far, thank you for reading and being apart of this journey with me.

-AK

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